The Lover Archetype of Masculinity

A look at the roles that masculinity has had on our society and how these have changed over time.

The “the lover archetype examples” is a type of masculinity that has been studied by many scholars. This article will discuss the different types of the lover archetype and how they are portrayed in literature.

Archetypes of men about masculinity king, warrior, magician and lover.

This is the third installment in a series on the archetypes of mature masculinity based on Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette’s book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover. If you haven’t previously done so, I strongly advise you to start from the series’ introduction. Also, bear in mind that some blogs are a bit more esoteric than our usual fare, and are intended to be thought about and pondered.

The archetypes of boy psychology were the subject of our earlier pieces in this series. Today, we’ll look at the Lover, the first archetype of the adult male.

I had intended to organize the archetypes according to the book’s sequence, beginning with the King and ending with the Lover. Will, a long-time member of the AoM Community, proposed that I exchange their spots. Why? Because, according to Moore and other Jungians, each archetype awakens at different times during a man’s life. The Lover is the archetype of young optimism and enthusiasm, and it is frequently the first of the archetypes to emerge in a man (as we’ll see). The King archetype is a culmination of the other archetypes and is generally the last to power up.

I felt this was a decent strategy, therefore I’m going to use it. Will, thank you very much!

With everything out of the way, let’s dive into the Lover archetype.

In His Entirety, the Lover

You usually think of romance and sensuality when you hear the term “lover.”

However, there are many other kinds of love–love for family, friends, God, and life itself–and the Lover archetype is passionate about them all.

The archetype of emotion, feeling, idealism, and sensuality is the Lover. Sensuality, like the term “lover,” is often connected with sex but has a far wider meaning. Being sensual entails engaging all of your senses in all aspects of your life–touching, tasting, smelling, hearing, and seeing–or, to put it another way, experiencing as many facets of life as possible, as frequently as possible.

When a man connects to the energy of the Lover archetype, he feels energized and connected to the world and others around him. Whether his sentiments be of pleasure or sadness, a guy in touch with the Lover archetype feels intensely.

The Lover is sensitive to the mystical energies that underpin our daily lives; it is this archetype that drives a man’s spirituality, as well as the home of the Muses. Lover energy manifests itself in our life when we have bursts of inspiration or sparks of creativity. Those who devote time to developing this archetype are more likely to have hunches, insights, and forebodings than men who do not.

People and social signs are frequently read by a guy who has completely developed the Lover archetype in his life. He has empathy for others and knows how to get along with and connect with a diverse group of individuals.

Because the Lover is so lively and sensuous, he appreciates all of life’s pleasures, including delicious food and drink, beautiful art, and attractive women. This is the archetype that makes us hungry. But these cravings aren’t simply for “baser” pleasures like sex and food; they’re also seeking a life with meaning and purpose. Limits and regulations might be seen as limiting by the Lover as he seeks the freedom to passionately pursue his goals.


This is why the Lover archetype has a distinct interaction with the other three mature masculinity archetypes. The Lover’s energy is unlimited, while the King, Warrior, and Magician archetypes bring structure and discipline to a man. As a result, the Lover’s desire nourishes and propels these three life forces, which in turn channel and harness the Lover’s energy in a healthy and worthwhile manner.

The Lover archetype may be found in myths and rituals from all around the world. Perhaps the most famous example is the Greek deity Dionysus. Dionysus was a Greek deity who was associated with wine, mirth, art, love, and sex. Dionysus, his devotees thought, was to fault when a man got so overtaken with emotion that he seemed insane. The annual celebration in his honor, conducted each spring, was a ceremony inspired by the Lover archetype, with plenty of drinking, dancing, theater, and sex.

Zorba the Greek is a contemporary fable that embodies the Lover archetype. Zorba is a guy who enjoys life to the fullest. He’s down to earth. He enjoys nice cuisine and beverages. He does a heartfelt dance. Zorba recognizes that in order for a man to be completely free, he must have a rich emotional life, as well as a dash of madness:


That’s a guy who embodies the Lover archetype to a healthy degree.

In most men, the Lover archetype is the first to emerge. When you look at most young males, you’ll see that the passionate Lover archetype is frequently in charge. They’re on the lookout for new and interesting ventures, have passionate love and sexual connections, and are full of young optimism. Their experiences are characterized by a high level of intensity.

Diagram describes the lover.

The Darkness

Keep in mind that each archetype has a pinnacle, which reflects the archetype’s completeness, as well as a bi-polar shadow split. These shadows are the consequence of the archetype not being properly incorporated into a man’s personality. The Compulsive Compulsive Compulsive Compulsive Compul and the Impotent Lover are the two shadows of the Lover archetype.

The Addicted Lover

The Addicted Lover shadow might emerge if the other archetypes fail to harness the Lover’s vitality.

As Moore puts it, a man possessed by the Addicted Lover is “eternally restless.” He’s always on the lookout for that one item, person, or event that will genuinely make him feel alive. But, whether it’s because he has unrealistic expectations or because he has no idea what he’s looking for in the first place, the nagging hunger that haunts him never goes away.

Every lady the Addicted Lover dates falls in love with him, and when she leaves him, he wallows in grief. He’s always coming up with new ideas for innovations or enterprises that would make him wealthy, but he never devotes enough time to them to see them through. His flat is crammed with items he acquired on the spur of the moment but never uses. His passport is full with stamps, yet he is no happier than we were when he left home to tour the globe.


The Addicted Lover is a collector of things, whether it’s experiences, goods, or women. His life, however, appears fragmented rather than entire since he lacks any framework or overall life philosophy to link the objects he gathers. The Lover’s energy evaporates in a million places without a conduit to flow through.

The guy who absorbs all of the Lover’s energy and concentrates it on one item is the polar opposite of this shadow. He might get so fixated on the things of his desire that they bring damage and ruin rather than delight. Perhaps you know a guy who got so engrossed in a vice, a project, or simply a pastime that it devastated his finances and relationships. That was an Addicted Lover-possessed individual.

I believe that Jay Gatsby from The Great Gatsby (which is also my favorite novel) is a fantastic illustration of a guy captivated by the Addicted Lover. For the rest of his life, he pines for Daisy Buchanan, an affluent woman. He’s hooked to the thought of being with Daisy and has spent his life collecting a wealth via illicit activities in order to be with her. Daisy, on the other hand, disappoints Gatsby in the end. Daisy didn’t live up to Gatsby’s ideal of her that he had been enamored with for years. You already know what happens to Jay Gatsby at the conclusion of the novel if you’ve read it. Being seized by the Addicted Lover is a recipe for disaster.

The Lover Who Is Powerless

When a man is out of touch with the Lover archetype in its entirety, the Impotent Lover shadow emerges. The Impotent Lover just sees gray, but the Lover in his fullness sees the universe in brilliant hues and textures. The Impotent Lover archetype makes men feel melancholy, flat, and dead on the inside. Nothing makes them happy any more. They’ve lost interest in living. For the man possessed by the Impotent Lover, relationships, whether romantic or platonic, strain and fail. These men’s libido is non-existent, as is their sex life.

The Impotent Lover may emerge in a guy who disciplines himself too much, just as the Addicted Lover does not give himself enough structure. This is often the case with devoutly religious men who, going far beyond their faith’s admonitions, burden themselves with excessively prudish standards and feel ashamed while “indulging” in life’s joys. Without a healthy channel to pursue, the Lover archetype’s energy builds up behind this dam of constraints, and it eventually spills out in dangerous ways, such as addiction to pornography. Impotent Lover transforms into Addicted Lover.

Getting to Know the Lover Archetype

The Lover, according to Moore, is today’s most repressed and stunted character among males. Men aren’t pushed to be “in touch with their emotions” in the West. We’re meant to be coolly distant from everything and everyone as males. However, great leaders throughout history have recognized that emotion, when properly harnessed, is what propels greatness. Thumos was the ancient Greek word meaning “desire for life.” A man’s desire to accomplish great things is fueled by a fire in his belly.


As a result, accessing the Lover archetype is critical to our male success. But how are we going to accomplish it?

The simplest method to activate the Lover archetype is to devote more time to really appreciating the things that offer you joy in life. The Addicted Lover is always on the lookout for a high that will last forever. His brain lights up with pleasure when he takes the first “hit” of something–whether it’s a new substance, a new destination, a new partner, or a new automobile. However, our brains rapidly get used to the same stimuli, and each subsequent exposure yields decreasing rewards. As a result, the Addicted Lover will require a larger dose of the stimulus in order to experience the same level of pleasure as the first time he experienced it. But he’ll become acclimated to that “dosage” as well. And the Addicted Lover quickly finds himself trapped in a terrible cycle of restlessness and unhappiness.

The key to shortening this cycle and tapping into the Lover energy in a healthy manner is to cultivate the virtue of moderation and be completely present in your life, as we’ve discussed before.

Instead of searching for more, you take the time to appreciate what you already have and do with all of your senses. You transform mundane daily chores into lavish, pleasurable rituals.

Do you prefer to drink coffee, for example? A couple of times a week, treat yourself to a calm, soothing cup of coffee. Before you ground the beans, take a sniff of them, then gently make your brew in a French press, pour it into a cup you choose, and slowly drink it on the porch, taking in the taste.

Slowly chew your meal so you can fully appreciate the tastes. Instead of quickly getting down to the deed, enjoy stroking and kissing your woman’s skin by taking a stroll after a rain shower and inhaling the fresh scent. Remember that the Lover takes in as much of life as possible, using all of his or her senses.

Another approach to connect with the Lover is to engage in an activity you like, especially one that requires creative talents or workmanship. Make time for that interest a top priority in your calendar. It makes no difference how ridiculous it is. Do it as long as it brings you pleasure and provides you with a creative outlet.

Reading should be a lifetime practice for any guy seeking access to the Lover archetype. To excite your brain and give it something to think about other than whether to eat a ham or turkey sandwich for lunch, immerse yourself in books and writings on a range of themes. The Lover’s potential for creativity and inspiration will be sparked by his quest for knowledge.

Hiking and camping are great ways to spend time outside. Nature can assist you in connecting with life’s mystery energies.

You may also access the Lover archetype by devoting time to romance. Make your wife or girlfriend a surprise date. It doesn’t have to be extravagant or costly. Don’t stop there, either. Write your wife love notes or a love poem if you’re feeling very creative. Boom. Lover access is available right now.


Moore also offers a few ways for better accessing all of the mature male archetypes in our life, in addition to the ones above. These methods need what Moore refers to as “active imagination.” 

Moore recommends studying and respecting guys who embody each character. You might read biographies and study the work of famous artists you adore for the Lover. Perhaps you could devote a month to learning about Leonardo da Vinci’s life. Read all of Papa’s works if you’re a Hemingway lover.

A last strategy for accessing your life’s archetypes is to “act as if” you’re already accessing the archetype. It’s Aristotle’s famous “fake it till you make it” philosophy. Act as though you were enthusiastic about life and were fully accessing the Lover archetype if you feel that the Impotent Lover has gained possession of your brain and you’ve lost your vim and vitality. If art has never piqued your attention, push yourself to go to a museum and actually look at it. Act as though you’re really interested, and you could discover that you don’t need to fake any more.

Introduction to the Mature Masculine’s Four Archetypes Part I of The Boyhood Archetypes Part II of The Boyhood Archetypes The Admirer The Heroic Warrior The Sorcerer The King of the Universe



The “the lover archetype characters” is a concept that was first introduced by the psychologist Erich Fromm. The “the lover archetype of masculinity” can be found in many different types of literature and movies, such as Romeo and Juliet, Casanova, Captain Jack Sparrow and Edward Cullen.

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