Small Talk: Never Ask These 5 Questions

It’s a long established fact that people love to ask each other questions. However, there are some subjects that should never be brought up in conversation for fear of ruining the moment or otherwise offending someone. Here are five topics you may want to avoid discussing with your friends and family members.

“Never Ask These 5 Questions” is a blog post that talks about the top five questions you should never ask on a first date. The article also includes some good questions to ask on a first date. Read more in detail here: good questions on a first date.

We’ve chosen to reprint a vintage essay each Friday to assist our younger readers discover some of the greatest, evergreen jewels from the past, with our archives currently totaling over 3,500 items. The original version of this story was published in April of 2015.

I asked a question that made me feel like a huge heel yesterday while making small conversation with the man working the deli counter at my local grocery store. So I was motivated to sit down and write a short and easy post on five questions I’ve discovered are best avoided completely, since they have a high likelihood of causing embarrassment and the putting of one’s foot into one’s mouth.

They are as follows:

1. “Did you go there to have a good time?”

This was the inquiry I posed to the man behind the deli counter. He had said that he had gone to Minnesota previous week. “Ah nice,” I said in response. “Did you simply go there for a good time?” “Actually, it was for my grandfather’s funeral,” he said. “Oh,” I say. Please accept my apologies.” Stares at the ground.

Another example is when someone says they went to such-and-such a location, and you remark, “Oh, that must have been amazing!” It’s fantastic there!” “Well, I went there with my wife to obtain a second opinion on her cancer,” they explain.

“What brought you out there?” is a better question. or “What was the purpose of your journey?”

2. “When do you think you’ll start having kids?” ”

This seems to be a very frequent and benign inquiry. Except when the couple you’re questioning has been trying to conceive for a long time without success. Your pleasant query then becomes yet another pinch of salt in the wound. And the couple has no suitable answer in this case since they are unlikely to reveal specifics of their reproductive issues with you. Perhaps they haven’t decided whether they want kids at all, or one spouse wants them and the other doesn’t, in which case you’re adding to the strain.

A better question would be “none” — don’t inquire. They will inform you about their plans for procreation if they want to.

3. “Does this look like your mother, sister, or daughter?”

You may believe you understand a couple’s connection, but you might be mistaken. “She’s my girlfriend, really,” he says when you question whether so-and-so is some guy’s daughter. Or you can ask a mother whether the woman standing next to her is her daughter, only to discover that it’s really her sister.

“And who is this wonderful woman I had the pleasure of meeting?” is a better question.

4. “Have you two been dating for a long time?”

When a male friend brings a female visitor to an event, or when a female friend brings a male guest to an event, this is a natural thing to ask. But, oops, they’ve never said whether or not they’re formally dating. Now they merely uncomfortably glance at each other and the floor before stumbling out some imprecise response.

“How did you two meet?” is a better question. or “Have you known each other for a long time?”

5. “Are you expecting a child?”

Finally, the dreaded “don’t touch it with a ten-foot pole” dilemma! “When are you due?” is a frequent yet hazardous variant. (Before you’re certain she’s expecting). When you ask this question, there’s a lot of room for embarrassment. Keep your distance.

A better query would be, “Is there one?” Even when their gut could knock a man over at 30 yards, I don’t inquire. Allow them to offer the information; it will almost certainly come up in discussion.

As you can see, the key to asking polite small talk questions is to avoid making the questions leading or assuming anything. Because we’ve all experienced the consequences of making assumptions.

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“how to make small talk with a girl” is a question that we shouldn’t ask. It’s best not to ask questions like these because they will lead you into an uncomfortable situation.