One of the most important human skills is communication. Humans are a species that can’t survive in isolation, and therefore rely heavily on each other to live. Each person has an opinion about these topics because they affect us all culturally through our choices for how we act and interact with others.
Talking about religion, politics and money is a minefield. It’s best to avoid these topics altogether. Read more in detail here: 3 things to never talk about religion, politics and.
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You’ve undoubtedly heard that you shouldn’t talk about religion, money, or politics with strangers.
This proverb is too cautious when it comes to discussing these “heated” issues with dear friends you’ve known for a long time. While talking about money should be approached with care (it may have ripple effects and emotions that are more visceral than anticipated), discussions about politics and religion are just too intriguing and pleasant to be avoided. After all, they are among of life’s most enthralling aspects.
But there’s a reason this piece of advice is so old when it comes to avoiding politics, religion, and money with new friends – people you’ve just met. The introduction of these “contentious” topics may cause a discussion to get unduly heated, produce misunderstandings, cause individuals to take offense, and even lead to the termination of a relationship before it has ever started.
The difference between discussing controversial subjects with old and new friends stems from the fact that with the former, you’ve already established a trust and respecting connection with them, allowing them to disagree with you in a courteous manner. They are well-versed in the whole of your existence. They may claim that they love you even though they disagree with you on a certain subject. They understand that your views on specific issues are just a small portion of who you are.
However, when meeting someone new, all they know about you is what you’ve said in the past half hour. All they have is the little slice of themselves you’ve shown them, and they’ll interpret that as representative of your whole life and personality. They lack the context to say things like, “We differ on X, but we have enough in agreement to have a fantastic relationship.”
While it may be tempting to let it all hang out with everyone all of the time, it’s preferable to start with the basics and create a solid foundation of trust and respect.
Despite the fact that this is typically the smartest and most secure path to take, it does not have to be a hard and fast rule.
Having said that, heated themes not only have the greatest potential for division, but they also have the greatest potential for uniting. And they may be discussed with a new person if you do it with care, intelligence, and an open mind, following the following guidelines:
- Instead of introducing a hot issue forcefully and publicly, introduce it softly and gradually. Ask, “Are you religious?” instead than abruptly declaring, “I’ve always felt that religion is the opium of the people.” or “Do you attend church on a regular basis?”
- Determine their level of interest. If you bring up a contentious issue in discussion and the other person isn’t interested, don’t push it. Now it’s time to move on to something new.
- Don’t assume someone shares your beliefs until they express them. Ask, “Did you see Trump’s recent press conference?” instead of “Trump’s a genuine clown, eh?” if you want to discuss about politics. You can typically gauge their thoughts on an issue based on their response and determine how to phrase what you say next.
- Instead of arguing, have a dialogue. What’s the difference between the two? “In debate, you’re looking for the truth, and in argument, you’re trying to establish that you’re right,” as one smart writer put it. As a result, when you’re having a conversation, you’re interested in hearing your neighbor’s point of view, and you pay attention to him. You don’t care about his thoughts in an argument; you just want him to hear yours, so you’re just thinking about what you’re going to say as soon as you have an opportunity.” Instead than attempting to persuade someone you’ve just met to join your side, try to learn how they came to their beliefs, where your perspectives vary, and what you have in common.
- Instead of asking “Why” or “How,” ask “What” queries. “How can you feel that way?” and “Why do you think that?” are common questions. make the other person feel assaulted, causing them to become defensive Instead, ask “What” inquiries to demonstrate your interest in learning more about their position: “Can you tell me what’s making you feel that way?” “How did you arrive at that conclusion?”
- Maintain your composure. A little fire keeps things interesting, but too much enmity can drive you apart. Keep the discourse casual and lighthearted by avoiding offensive words. If the conversation is becoming tense, change the topic rather than continue to hammer your new friend with your viewpoints.
Any subject of discussion may be brought up as long as it is handled with sensitivity. All you need to remember is to be nice and interested.
The “talking at you not to you” is a phrase that means that the person is talking about something, but they are not really trying to get your opinion. This phrase is often used when someone is talking about religion, politics, or money.
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