Being a Stay at Home Mother, I was always having conversations with my husband about our family. My children were growing up so fast and spending a lot of time with their friends. I felt like a failure because I couldn’t spend as much time as I used to with my kids. I wanted more time with my husband and less with my kids! So I tried to figure out a way to have more talks with my husband.
At first I just ignored him and did not talk to him much. But I soon noticed that my feelings were becoming frequent and more intense. I was having constant conversations with my husband about our family. But I didn’t want him to be our constant partner, I wanted to be his partner!
Here is the problem with being your husband’s constant partner. If you allow him to treat you that way, he can become unmoored and lose interest in you. He may start making decisions without consulting you. This will definitely cause friction in your marriage. You need to make sure that you are always giving your husband guidelines or boundaries that you desire.
It is easy to fall into a “Constant partner” routine. This can easily happen if you are waiting for him to ask you to be your constant partner. If that happens, he’ll likely feel as if he has to do all of the things that you want because you are demanding it of him. On the other hand, if you are doing all of the things that you want, but you don’t ask for anything in return, he’ll feel as if he is your knight in shining armor, saving you from all of the chores.
It is up to you to create that constant partnership. Start by showing your husband respect for you. Don’t be critical of his opinions or decisions, but be supportive and loving with what he does. Even when he acts like he doesn’t care, acknowledge that he is important to you. Your constant partner may surprise you at how quickly he will come around.
If your husband has started taking on more responsibilities at work and in the home than before, that is a big sign that he isn’t being completely honest with you. Let him know that you love and appreciate all of the effort that he is putting forth, but that you also want him to have time for you as well. Work on having some separate time during the day, just the two of you. At times, you may need to step back and give him a chance to realize that it will take more than just your help to keep things going. Taking some time away from the relationship will help him realize what his life is like without you in it.
It is your responsibility to hold your husband accountable. Make sure that every other week you are telling him exactly what you think of his attitude and actions toward you. You need to hold him accountable for the way he treats you and the way he treats your family. Being a constant partner is something that your husband will take for granted if you let it.
Constant reassurance from your husband is going to be crucial if you expect to have a fulfilling marriage. You will be able to tell if he is happy or sad by the way he acts toward you. If he is constantly trying to impress you with how great he is doing now, it is because he is insecure about himself. He is probably always thinking about how he can improve himself so that he can be the best husband possible. If you want your husband to be a consistent partner, there are some things that you need to do.