Marriage Tips for Men - Time to Prepare

Marriage is one of the most important life events, and if you’re wondering what to do in order for it to be a success, wonder no more. Here are some tips that may help things go smoothly—or at least prevent arguments.

You can learn a lot about marriage from men, who are the ones with experience in this area. Here are some of their tips:
1. Wait for her to be ready
2. Don’t underestimate your partner’s ability to love you back
3. Make sure she feels important and loved

Marriage Tips for Men is a blog that provides marriage advice to men. The blog offers tips on how to prepare for marriage as a man and advice on how to be a better husband.

These days, marriage advice abounds, which I appreciate.

We either appreciate this institution enough to make it the best it can be, or we have no idea what we’re talking about when it comes to marriage, as seen by the quantity of advice. However, I’ll give us the benefit of the doubt and go with the first option.

I’ve been married for 17 years, and the advice I’m about to give you isn’t anything I came up with. Rather, these are the three bits of wisdom that others have given me throughout the years that have had the most impact on me.

The advice is applicable to any partner, but I’m included it here to emphasize the importance of us guys acting first. This is meant to be an encouragement to us to lead wisely, even though not every relationship supports this goal.

Here are three techniques to aid in the formation of a good and long-lasting marriage:

1. Recognize that neither the husband nor the woman determines what is ordinary.

This advise came from a friend of my father’s who specialized in marital counseling around two years before I married.

He said that one of the most common issues he encounters in marriages is when a male thinks that if his wife just saw things his way, his marriage would be perfect (or vice versa).

The issue is that one partner is establishing his or her own standard of normality.

If the other spouse’s behaviors or emotions differ from this fictitious baseline, he or she is labeled abnormal.

Do you see the issue?

The marital counselor explained that, just as men and women’s physical bodies vary in obvious ways, so do men and women’s psychological makeups. Men and women are equal in their inherent sense of identity and importance as human beings, but they approach the world in different ways.

The “correct” approach is not a male-dominated one. Similarly, the “correct” method is not the feminine approach.

One of the most effective methods for a spouse to love their partner is to recognize and appreciate the differences between the sexes, rather than denying or fighting them.

Let’s imagine a parent wishes to remove his small son’s training wheels off his bike. The mother, on the other hand, is certain that her kid isn’t old enough.

If the father believes that his way is the only way to go, and that if only the mother would agree with him, their marriage would be perfect, he will be doing himself a disservice.

It’s possible that the mother is merely approaching the matter from a traditionally feminine standpoint of wanting her kid to be secure and nurtured. The father, on the other hand, is approaching the matter from a traditionally masculine standpoint of wanting his kid to be independent and adventurous.

The key is to recognize and discuss the contrasts in each spouse’s approach.

2. Recognize that marriage isn’t mainly about “comfort.”

This advise came around two weeks after I was married. My wife and I had clashed over something that appeared little to me — where to put wet towels — but had grown into a bigger quarrel, as is usual in first marriages.

I dialed the number of my best male buddy, a man I’ve known since high school. Despite the fact that we’re the same age, he’d been married for seven years, so I assumed he’d picked up something along the way that I needed to learn.

My main gripe was that I imagined marriage would be simpler than it was. My wife and I were creating a home together, and a house should be a haven of relaxation and comfort, not a place where we fought over towels, of all things.

That notion was disputed by a buddy. He agreed that a house should become a haven of tranquility, but with all the complexities of interpersonal communication and forming a long-term marital bond, why would anybody expect a marriage to be simple — especially when it’s just getting started?

He went on to say that nothing worthwhile in life comes without effort. It’s not simple to graduate from university. It’s not simple to find work. It’s not simple to make it in a profession. It’s not simple to be a good parent. All of these things need attention, energy, and resilience, and each new stage of life comes with its own set of challenges.

Instead of telling me that I was right and my wife was wrong, he offered me this pearl of wisdom: “When it comes to marital arguments, always err on the side of caution.”

In other words, the problem isn’t with damp towels. The problem is that their particular location is important to your wife for some reason. Don’t dismiss the problem lightly if those damp towels are essential to her. Instead, be careful enough to see that the core of the problem is something she cares about.

The answer to every quarrel, even one as apparently little as where to hang wet towels, is to act with caution, deliberation, and attention.

In a nutshell, rather of feeling irritated, try to understand.

3. Marriage, like excellent wine, improves with age.

My grandpa, Bob Lynes, a Montana wheat farmer, unwittingly gave me this advise before he died at the age of 87.

My grandmother got gravely sick and was hospitalized for many months while my grandpa was in his mid-fifties, which shocked my grandfather.

“When I was a young person, I may have been able to live without a wife,” my grandpa stated when her health improved and she returned home. But no way these days.”

My granddad was not renowned for saying a lot of things. But that phrase said volumes about his unwavering — and growing — affection for my grandma. For years following, the tale was told inside the family.

What it tells me is that, although some couples’ love fades with time, this isn’t always the case. As time passes, love may become stronger and deeper (and research backs up this observation). Spouses may grow in importance and importance.

I married at the age of 29, and I felt reasonably self-sufficient in terms of my capacity to operate in the world as a single person at the time. Sure, when I married my wife, I admired and loved her. Nonetheless, at the age of 46, I am becoming more pleased and satisfied to be married and be married — and this is especially true as I look forward to the future.

This isn’t to argue that as time has passed, I’ve gotten less self-sufficient or competent. It’s because I’ve learnt to appreciate and admire my wife’s opinion and support. I’m far less likely to desire to be single now. From the inside out, I’ve learned to respect marriage.

Show her — and tell her — how much she is appreciated, especially as the years pass.

What would you do to express love to your wife if you’re a husband — or if you hope to be one someday? In the end, it will be to your favor.

When I think of Johnny Cash’s relationship with June Carter Cash, I think of the guidance he gave in a blanket principle.

Despite the fact that both Johnny and June made errors along the road, and their marriage to each other wasn’t their first, they learnt and developed from them. They had a profoundly solid 35-year marriage together in the end.

June passed away in May of 2003. When she died, Johnny was holding her hand. Johnny killed himself a few months later. People said he couldn’t face the prospect of being away from June.

When asked what made their marriage so robust, Johnny previously given the following advice:

“It’s a place of unconditional love.” You’ve probably heard that term before, but it’s true for me and her [June]. Despite everything, despite myself, she loves me. She has saved my life on several occasions. Her love has always been there for me, and it has surely helped me forget about the suffering for a long time, many times. It’s just me and her when it gets dark and everyone has gone home and the lights have been turned out.”

Unconditional love: it’s possible that the finest gift a husband can offer to his wife is unconditional love.

What’s the finest marital advise you’ve ever gotten?

Marcus Brotherton contributes to Art of Manliness as a writer.

Feast For Thieves, his first book, is a must-read.

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Marriage is a tricky thing. It’s important to have the right advice and tips to make sure you’re getting married in the best way possible. Reference: marriage advice.

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