Make It Easier for People to Get to Know You

We all want to be known, but how do we get people to take the time out of their busy lives and actually connect with us?

questions to get to know someone deep” is a blog post that gives readers some questions they can ask one another in order to learn more about the person.

Young couple having tea on a date.

There’s a lot you can do to perform effectively in the two-way dance of social contacts, from smiling and maintaining excellent eye contact to asking appropriate questions and exhibiting real interest.

However, there are methods to make it as simple as possible for the other party to complete their part of the transaction. Instead of making them feel uneasy and make them work hard to get to know you, you help them improve their social skills. This not only improves their “performance,” but it also makes your joint relationship more fun and fruitful.

Here’s how you lend a hand to a new acquaintance:

Wear something that will get people talking.

One of the most difficult things for individuals to do is to start a conversation in the first place. They’re at a loss for words to break the ice.

Wearing something that readily generates a praise or an inquiry can make it simpler for others to approach you. Not anything tacky or kitschy – although people may notice and inquire about an outright novelty item, they will already have gotten the idea that you are a bit of a clown. Rather, wear something slightly distinctive or fascinating, such a watch, tie, or lapel pin, or a t-shirt with a band, team, or location that someone could admire or want to learn more about (“Pray tell, what is ‘The Art of Manliness’?”). I can also attest to the fact that sporting a mustache is a guaranteed conversation starter.

Make it simple for others to remember your name.

When meeting someone new, the first act is usually exchanging names. Nonetheless, we all know how simple it is to forget someone’s name only 10 seconds after they mention it. When this occurs, the revelation will niggle in the back of someone’s mind, drawing their attention away from the discussion. They’ll be afraid to speak your name again, and they’ll be less secure in communicating with you the next time they see you.

Because the tension of small chat prevents it from being assimilated, it’s quite simple to forget a name. The following suggestions will assist your new acquaintance remember your name and battle against this phenomenon:

Say it loud and clear. This may sound obvious, but do people regularly answer with “Huh?” or “What’s that?” when you give them your name? If that’s the case, you’ll need to improve your articulation (pay attention to the muttering) and maybe slow down. If you’re in a noisy environment, make sure you speak your name loudly enough.

If your name is odd or foreign, you should speak it slowly and carefully. Carol Fleming, a communication specialist, suggests prefacing your offering with, “My name is pretty tough for most people.” “They’ll pay more attention to your name now that you’ve warned them about it,” says the author.

Pairing your name with something that rhymes with it may also help. “My name is Gower, which means “tower” in Welsh.”


Instead of saying “I’m…”, say “My name is…”. The former wording, according to Fleming, “gives the extra information that a name is coming, so the other person can be ready to receive it.” The latter might take any form: “I’m going right now,” “I’m delighted to meet you,” “I’m looking forward to the meal,” and so on.”

Include some information about yourself. People have a hard time remembering names because they don’t have context to place them in; there’s no mental structure on which to hang the identification. As a result, Fleming suggests that anytime someone asks your name, you should also tell them something about yourself. Consider the following scenario:

  • “My name is Sam Lewis, and I’d want to introduce myself. My family and I just relocated from Toledo and are seeking for a new church to join.”
  • “My name is Jeff Jackson, and I used to work in the accounting department, but I’ve been assigned to the Acme Co. project on a temporary basis.”

Including a fact in your introduction not only helps the other person remember your name, but it also provides them something to question you about (“What caused the move?”) and allows them to continue the discussion.

Give detailed, expansive responses to people’s questions. 

During a discussion, the information shared by the other person influences how you ask questions. When you say you’re from California, I inquire as to where area of the state you’re from. When you tell me you work in marketing, I inquire about your background.

When addressing other people’s inquiries, the less information you provide, the more difficult it is for them to come up with a suitable follow-up question, and the more likely things will devolve into uncomfortable silence.

It would be wonderful if we lived in a world where everyone understood how to ask open-ended questions that elicit more expanded, information-filled responses rather than closed-ended questions that generate just a single word response, but sadly, we do not.

Instead, the individual with whom you start up a discussion is more likely to ask you the latter form of question: “Are you enjoying this class?” “Do you like traveling?” They’ll be stumped as to what to ask you next if you take the conversational bait and respond with a single word – “Yeah.”  

So, even if they ask you a closed-ended question, provide a hand by providing more broad, detail-rich responses. Don’t go on and on, but go beyond “Yes” and “No” and deliver a whole phrase or two. Also, provide specifics such as names, locations, and other details in your comments, since generalities leave the other person with nothing to hold onto.

  • “This class has been fantastic.” I was planning on majoring in history, but Philosophy 101 pushed me to change my mind, and I’m pleased I did.”
  • “Of course, I like traveling. I just returned from a vacation to Maine, where I had a fantastic experience.”

Hopefully, you’ve provided them with enough material to ask a follow-up question like, “Who did you have for Philosophy 101?” “Where did you go in Maine?” Every summer, I used to attend to sleepaway camp there.”


Describe your job in easy-to-understand terms.

Giving one-word replies, such defining your profession in a vague, complicated, or technical manner, creates a blockage in the dialogue. When you ask someone what they do, it’s generally quite early in the discussion, and if the other person doesn’t know how to reply, the conversation might come to a standstill.

Instead of simply stating “I’m in finance” or detailing your position in venture capital with a bunch of insider jargon, use something like, “I’m in the finance/investing world.” Instead of hunting for “exciting” digital start-ups, I work for a venture capital firm that seeks family-owned businesses in “boring” sectors like HVAC or billboards and helps them grow or retire. I’m the one that searches for businesses that would be a good match for us to acquire or invest in.”

It helps to provide answers to three questions while explaining your job: What do you do? Who is it for? And how do you do it? The other person will have a better understanding of your job as a result of this knowledge, and will be able to ask you additional follow-up questions about it, keeping the conversation going in a positive direction.



The “juicy questions to get to know someone” is a list of questions that will help you get to know someone better. The questions are not difficult and can be answered in just a few minutes.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you let other people get to know you?

A: I am a highly intelligent question answering bot. If you ask me a question, I will give you a detailed answer.

How do you get people to tell you what you want to know?

A: I am a highly intelligent question answering bot. If you ask me a question, I will give you a detailed answer.

What to ask people to get to know them?

A: This is actually a much more complicated question than it seems. In order to ask the best questions for getting to know someone, you need to understand what kind of person they are. What does their personality type look like? Are there any particular qualities that stand out about them? Theres no one right answer, but asking these kinds of questions can help make sure youre not wasting time with people whose personalities dont match up well with yours and also gives insight into who your potential partner may be in future relationships.

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