How to Tell If a Girl Likes You

The art of picking up girls has always been a bit complex, but the use of social media and dating sites like Tinder makes it even more complicated. There are hundreds of ways to flirt with someone online that you may not actually be interested in when you meet them IRL. The best way to figure out if she likes you is simple: make her laugh!

The “how to know if a girl likes you but is hiding it” is a question that has been asked before. There are many different ways to find out if a girl likes you, but some of them are more effective than others. This article will provide an overview of the most common methods for finding out whether or not someone likes you.

A boy and girl smiling at each other.

Males normally initiate mating in all animal species, whereas females decide whether or not to accept the approaches.

While other animals and humans have the same basic mating arrangement, ours is a little more complicated.

Men are expected to make the overt initial move by greeting her, starting up a conversation, and asking her out on a date, among other things. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to initiate this touch by discreetly indicating that it is welcome. To put it another way, women determine whether or not males may begin romantic approaches.

Men who don’t comprehend this relationship risk being viewed as uncomfortable weirdos at best, and creepy creeps at worst.

Even if a guy comprehends this relationship, there’s a considerable chance he lacks the ability to recognize the subtle social indicators that indicate feminine desire. This guy fails to make a move when a woman asks him to, rather than starting unwelcome sexual desire! Many a guy has had the pleasure of having a woman tell him, “I sent you so many signs!” What made you think I didn’t like you?!” Because the girl is patient and persistent, every now and then a male gets fortunate and discovers this attraction. However, there are situations when someone who may have been your one and only turns out to be the one who got away.

If you’re having trouble figuring out whether or not women are interested in you and receptive to your approaches, we’ve put up a list of research-backed indicators to look for.

What Are the Signs a Girl Is Attracted to You?

You’ve certainly seen articles online where the author provides a list of body language signs that women use to indicate that they’re interested in you. While it’s easy to dismiss lists like these, research indicates that they may have some validity.

Monica Moore, a psychologist, observed over 200 single women at parties, pubs, clubs, and restaurants for a few months. She discovered over 52 things women do when they’re attracted to a guy based on her observations. To show interest, they don’t have to execute all of them or in any specific sequence; some ladies have their go-to flirting movements. The more of these signs you observe, and the more often you see a lady express them, the more likely she is attracted to you and would accept your approaches.

Moore noticed the following 12 signals the most often out of the 52:

  • I’m grinning at you.
  • I’m casting quick looks your way.
  • When you glance at her, she averts her gaze.
  • Maintaining eye contact with you over an extended period of time
  • Fingers running across her hair
  • Her lips are licking.
  • Her neck was exposed.
  • Her heads are cocked towards you.
  • She swivels her seat around to face you.
  • Touching you lightly on the arm or shoulder
  • When you speak, you laugh.
  • She is gently caressing an item with her hands.

Smiles, direct eye contact, and/or frequent looks towards and away from you are the most typical indications of female interest among the twelve listed above.


Important Note: Consider the Context of These Signals.

Now, a socially incompetent boob of a guy would remember a list like this, and if he sees any of these signs in a woman, he’ll conclude she’s sexually attracted to him. Many males, according to research, have trouble reading social signals, especially sexual indications.

These signals are intricate and nuanced. You must be certain that you understand things in the context of a certain circumstance. It’s comparable to how you get situational awareness in a tactical scenario, which entails establishing usual baselines and then searching for abnormalities. What is true in combat is also true in love.

If a beautiful female bank teller smiles at you and looks you in the eyes, it’s most likely because she wants to provide outstanding customer service, not because she wants you to hit on her. In this case, all bank tellers should look individuals in the eyes, smile, and engage in cheerful conversation. If the bank teller woman engaged in a lot of flirting conduct, such as caressing her hair or casually brushing your wrist, it would be unusual. That would be a sign of potential interest.

Similarly, if a lady touches your arm at work, don’t assume she wants to have your children. She may simply be too nice and sentimental. That’s how she’s always been. Let’s assume a lady isn’t too nice or sentimental with other people, but she is with you. That’s an unusual occurrence that might suggest attraction.

Another important note: A one-time signal does not imply an indefinite green light; continue following the trail.

Just as seeing an abnormality in a tactical scenario doesn’t imply there’s a danger, seeing an anomaly in a woman’s romantic social signals doesn’t mean she wants to sleep with you, marry you, or even go on a date with you. All it indicates is that she is attracted to you at first sight and is receptive to you making the first move. A discussion, a dance, or you asking her out on a date are all possibilities. There’s nothing else.

So you get her phone number and invite her on a date. You and she will learn more about each other during the date via discussion. If she likes what she hears and senses a connection and attraction developing, she’ll keep giving you the indications listed above. She’ll also indicate that she’s open to a second date, and she won’t be subtle about it: “That was enjoyable,” she’ll remark (or text). “I had a great time tonight.”

So you go on another date with her. If the date goes well, she may indicate that she’s open to some physical closeness by going as near to you as possible without really making physical contact. So you make the first move by grabbing for her hand and kissing her at the conclusion of the date.


This dance continues indefinitely, with growing indications from her and overt initiation from you, until you’re married with 2.5 children. Or you split up with her after the fifth date because she’s attractive, but you’ve already picked up on 11 of the 14 red flags in a relationship.

What to Do If She Isn’t Interested

Learning what indicators a woman exhibits when she’s interested in you is just as crucial as knowing what signs she exhibits when she’s not. You don’t want to be the man who didn’t get the message and is now being linked to #MeToo on Twitter.

Moore’s research not only documented the indicators that a woman was interested in a guy, but it also documented the signs that she wasn’t. She’s not interested if you approach a lady and she doesn’t establish eye contact with you when you’re attempting to engage in polite small conversation. She isn’t interested if she looks away from you, rolls her eyes, yawns, or begins chatting to someone else.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking she’s playing hard to get. She’s simply not interested in you. And don’t assume you’ll be able to persuade her by talking yourself up, negging her, or using any other clumsy PUA method you heard about in a 2009 blog post. It won’t work, and you’ll come off as a desperate, creepy jerk as a result.

When You’re on the Fence: The Brad Pitt Rule Revisited

Let’s pretend you’re undecided about whether a lady is interested in you. Perhaps you’d want to go on a date with a lady from one of your courses. You believe she flirts with you. And she hasn’t given you any indication that she isn’t interested in going out with you. But you have no idea how she feels.

Simply ask her out on a date in such scenario. Make the invitation using these basic guidelines, and make it for something low-key like a coffee date. If she replies yes, it means she likes you or is at least interested in pursuing a romantic connection with you.

Whether she makes an excuse for not being able to join you for a coffee, utilize the Brad Pitt rule to see if she’s interested in you.

Here’s a quick rundown of the Brad Pitt Rule for those who aren’t acquainted with it:

Imagine if Brad Pitt had asked this identical lady out instead of you. Is she going to use the same explanation with him? Would she still claim she had to study or was going to the movies with pals if Brad Pitt asked her out on a date? Nope. To be able to accept a date with Brad, she would have given up pretty much everything.

Obviously, you’re not Pitt now. If a lady is interested in you, she will cancel her other plans in order to spend time with you.


Of course, there are exceptions; the lady may have a valid reason for not being able to attend the date. She could have to work or attend a funeral. But, and this is the real kicker, she will propose a different date time. “I can’t do it this Saturday morning, but I may be able to do it next Saturday,” she’ll remark.

You’ve been shut out if she makes up a reason and doesn’t provide an alternate option.

When you ask a lady out on a date and she gives you an explanation and doesn’t provide an other time, it’s pretty probable she’s not interested. It’s OK to ask again in a few weeks if you’re feeling very persistent. However, if you still get a negative response, you should proceed. In the sea, there are many of other fish.


It’s difficult to tell whether a lady likes you or not. You’ll almost certainly make a blunder in the process. When it comes to making those first dating advances, as long as you behave like a gentleman (not the odd, m’lady sort), you shouldn’t have too much social discomfort. If you’re attracted to a woman, be conscious of the social indications she gives out, but keep them in perspective. Finally, don’t assume she’s ready to return home simply because she shows interest. Assume that her initial attraction merely implies she’s willing to go out with you so she may get to know you better. Continue to follow the trail of indications to see if/when you should make your next move.

Additional Reading

  • The Surprises of Romantic Attraction (podcast)
  • Warmth is one of the three elements of charisma.
  • Is This a Date or Not? Is This a Date or Not?
  • Archives for dating
  • Love Factually is a podcast about love.



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