How to Become Self

I was born in a universe where time and space are the same. I lived for many years, searching for answers to the questions of my existence. When I finally found them, they were not what I expected.

“how to become self-employed with no money” is a question that has been asked for years. This article will give you some tips on how to get started with your own business.

This essay series is now available as a professionally designed, distraction-free paperback or ebook that you can read at your leisure while offline.

The first talent we’ll cover in our series on 31 pieces of know-how you should master before venturing out on your own is more of a mindset than a skill, but it’s a critical foundation for the rest of the “harder,” more practical abilities we’ll be covering throughout the month.

It’s about cultivating a self-sufficient mindset.

Taking care of yourself and making your own choices is an important part of growing up. You don’t know how much you rely on grownups to make your life work smoothly until you’re on your own. Your parents probably did a lot for you, from washing your laundry to phoning the doctor when you were ill.

While you may not be totally self-sufficient when you move out (many young people continue to depend on their parents for varied degrees of financial help far into their twenties), you may be self-sufficient in a number of areas. For example, you shouldn’t need your mother to remind you of key appointments or your father to remind you to have your vehicle serviced on a regular basis. You should be able to remember to take care of such tasks on your own. A guy with a self-reliant mindset does not wait for others to take care of the things that need to be taken care of. If he faces a difficulty, he takes the initiative and attempts to fix it on his own.

So, how can a guy cultivate a self-sufficient mindset?

One of the finest solutions I’ve found to this issue comes from “Developing Self-Reliance,” a terrific, though endearingly corny 1950s instructional video. It’s just 10 minutes long, but it’s well worth your time:


For one of his young pupils, a kind-hearted instructor sets out the four principles of developing self-reliance in the film:

Vintage steps to self reliance list on paper close up

1. Take responsibility for your actions. Begin to accept responsibility for your life and the events that occur in it. If you’ve been relying on your mother to wake you up every morning so you don’t miss school, it’s time to make friends with your smartphone’s alarm clock. To keep track of your appointments and crucial deadlines, start utilizing a calendar. Clean up your apartment or dorm room as soon as you discover it is becoming cluttered. If you’re having trouble in class or at work, don’t blame your instructor or your employer. If you make a mistake, own up to it and attempt to correct it yourself rather than rushing back to Mom and Dad to have it fixed for you. When you visit your parents, don’t fall back into old habits and let Mom wash your laundry. Parents make significant sacrifices in taking on not just their own obligations, but also the responsibility for each of their children. However, they should not be forced to bear more than their own loads continuously; when a kid is competent, he should begin to shift his load from his parents’ shoulders to his own as soon as he is able, in appreciation for the altruistic care he got for many years from his parents.


I’ll tell you the truth. It’s not easy to accept responsibility for your own life. It necessitates the completion of tasks that are often monotonous, laborious, irritating, and time-consuming. You’ll feel the pressure of having to make a difficult choice and accepting the consequences, even if they’re not in your favor. Being responsible will frequently go unnoticed and unrewarded.

Taking charge of your life, on the other hand, is a satisfying experience. As you take charge of your own life, you’ll build a peaceful confidence in yourself. You’ll have a sense of accomplishment. Instead of feeling as if life is merely occurring to you, you will begin to feel as if you are the ruler of your destiny and the captain of your soul. As you take charge of your life, you’ll discover that doors to new and greater chances open up. While some young men who don’t take responsibility for their lives may seem to live a life of worry-free leisure, give it a few years and those same guys will most likely have made little progress and appear stuck in neutral. You may have little duty, a lot of fun and pleasure, and few alternatives in life, or you can have a good amount of responsibility, a healthy amount of fun and pleasure, and a lot of possibilities in life. Personally, I like the second alternative. While it’s easy to get by by having others do everything for you, “the difficulty is, if you’re not self-reliant, you’ll never accomplish more than simply get by,” as the video above puts it.

2. Educate yourself. Of course, in order to take on greater tasks, you must first understand how to carry them out. Some young men continue to rely on their parents to do things for them, claiming that they just do not know how to do it. For the same reason, they often rely on their parents to make choices for them. But the fact is that they’ve never attempted to solve problems on their own.

This explanation is particularly weak in the era of the internet, when many of life’s concerns may be answered with a simple Google search. Do you need to know how to apply for financial aid? Don’t delegate the task to your mother; instead, hop on the internet and begin your investigation.

This isn’t to imply you shouldn’t seek guidance and counsel from your parents or other adults. There are certain issues or choices that Google cannot assist with. When making a major choice or attempting to solve an issue, you should surely seek out the practical knowledge that older people have accumulated by asking for their advice.

However, I would advise you to avoid using your parents as a first-resort resource all of the time. When we don’t actually want feedback and just want to be told what to do, we usually turn to our parents. And, even if you disagree, when your parents learn about your situation, they typically want to take care of it for you. So first look within yourself; attempt to figure things out on your own. The finest teacher is experience. When you’ve hit a brick wall, speak to your parents. You’ll be in a better position to ask them useful questions now that you’ve gotten your hands dirty with your problem. Instead of feeling like a child, you’ll feel like a fellow adult seeking help from someone who has previously been there.


When the stakes are high, it’s best to seek help sooner rather than later; it’s frequently better to learn from others’ errors rather than making your own. However, by performing at least the beginning steps of information gathering whenever possible, you will develop and make discoveries that you would not have made otherwise.

The self-sufficient individual is constantly on the lookout for new opportunities to learn and broaden his horizons. He reads books for his courses because he enjoys it rather than because he is required to. He reads for enjoyment on a regular basis, whether at college or at work. He stays up with current events and news. He converses with people and pays attention to them. Wherever he goes, he’s well aware of what’s going on around him. As a result, he accumulates a library of data from which he might draw when making a choice or addressing a problem.

3. Have a clear idea of where you’re headed. A guy who is self-sufficient has objectives that he has established for himself. His goals aren’t only what other people believe he should do. The self-reliant individual is self-sufficient and does not depend on others to legitimize his choices. A self-sufficient guy works toward a goal. He’s drawn out a plan for his future. When he encounters an issue, he educates himself on the perfect answer and then sets out to make it a reality. He schedules his weeks and ensures that all of his responsibilities are met.

4. You must make your own choices. One thing I’ve discovered the hard way is that making your own choices makes life a whole lot simpler and less stressful. It’s easy to just let life happen to you when you’re younger, hoping that choices and issues would miraculously resolve themselves. They are not going to do it. In fact, the longer you wait to act on an issue or make a choice, the greater and more difficult it becomes. Make it a habit to make proactive decisions. Any time you’re faced with a decision or an issue, make a swift decision and put it into action.

“The greatest thing you can do in each moment of choice is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” Roosevelt, Theodore

Also, although you should seek counsel from others to help you make choices, you should not depend on others to make them for you. It’s your life, after all. Allowing people to live your life for you is not a good idea.

Self-Reliance and Self-Sufficiency in Balance

Learning to be self-sufficient takes time; you aren’t suddenly turned into a wise, completely self-sufficient adult when you reach 18. Self-reliance, on the other hand, is something that develops through time as you get older, gain experience, and become more self-reliant.

“Is it alright for my parents to buy me groceries when they come to visit?” I’m often asked by readers. “Is it all OK if they pay my rent?” These guys want to know where a young man should draw the line between being self-sufficient and relying on his parents for help. I’m afraid I don’t have any simple answers to such questions, and I don’t believe there are any hard and fast laws either. “Will this assistance lead to more independence down the future or will it lead to more dependence?” I suggest asking yourself. According to a recent study, college students who receive less financial support from their parents think of themselves as adults sooner, drink less, and are more career-oriented, whereas those who receive free rides from their parents are more likely to engage in risky behaviors such as binge drinking and are less motivated in their studies. Students with unhelpful parents, on the other hand, are more likely to take longer to graduate or quit out entirely. Essentially, the study discovered that either too much or too little self-reliance can lead to a hampered college career and reduced future independence; as a result, the authors of the study recommended a balanced approach in which parents provide some assistance while the student is responsible for other expenses. To summarize, it’s better to develop self-reliance in phases – focus on being self-reliant in whatever ways you can, wherever you are in life, in ways that don’t jeopardize your capacity to acquire greater independence later.




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