Most of the time, being a dad isn’t easy. Raising children is tough no matter what you’re doing and it can be overwhelming at times; but there are ways to make it easier on yourself (and your kin) so that you have less stress in general. The following tips were compiled from Reddit’s “Dad Advice”.
The “how to be a better dad” is an article that gives 18 tips for being a great father. The article includes things like how to teach your kids, how to discipline them and more. Read more in detail here: how to be a better dad to my son.
Photo courtesy of free parking
Note from the editor: This is a guest article from Zen Habits’ Leo Babauta, a father of six children.
Once you get beyond all the filthy things, all the stressful events, the loss of privacy, and the overwhelming amount of ways you may mess it up, becoming a parent can be a lovely thing.
But, other from those few drawbacks, parenting is a fantastic experience.
Every father worries that he won’t be a good father, that he’ll make mistakes, that he’ll fail. It’s part of the job.
Unfortunately, a straightforward set of instructions does not come with the job. We frequently ignore the handbook as males, assuming we can figure it out on our own… However, having that guidebook to go to when things go wrong is helpful. That handbook is required for fatherhood.
And, although you may think that as the father of six children, I’m equipped to produce such a guidebook, that’s not the case; I’m winging it just like everyone else. However, as a father of six children for over 15 years, I’ve learned a lot about what works and what doesn’t, what matters and what you can safely disregard (unlike that odd grating sound coming from your engine).
The following are some helpful hints for fathers. I wish they’d given them to me when I gave birth to my first kid. It would have been quite beneficial. I hope they’ll assist you in being an even better father than you currently are – feel free to use them as a cheat sheet whenever you need it.
- Make the most of your time with them. The speed with which the years will pass will astound you. My eldest child is 15, so I only have three years with her before she leaves the nest. That is insufficient time! Make the most of the time you have with them since it is limited. Spend as much time with them as you can, making it quality, loving time. Try to be as present as possible when you’re with them as well – they can feel when your mind wanders.
- It becomes less difficult. Others may have had different experiences, but I’ve always found the first few months to be the most challenging, when the kid is brand new and wants to nurse at all hours of the night, and you have restless nights and wander about like zombies. As infants develop a regular sleeping routine, it becomes simpler. The first few of years are also far more demanding than later years, and by the time they reach middle school, they are virtually fully functional adults. Believe me when I say it gets easier.
- Don’t think of anything as “mom” tasks; instead, divide and conquer. While there are many aspects of our grandparents’ era that we should revive, the conventional father/mother distribution of parenting responsibilities is not one of them. Some guys still see some responsibilities as “mom” responsibilities, but don’t be one of them. Participate in everything and divide the responsibilities with your baby mom. Changing diapers, bathing them, dressing them, and even feeding them are all part of the job (you can give them breast milk in a bottle).
- All is conquered by love. This one may seem cheesy, but it should be at the top of your dad’s priority list: show your children love first and foremost. Instead of shouting, offer them love when you’re furious. Show them affection while they’re sad. Show them love when they least expect it. Everything else is really a minor detail.
- Making choices is something that children like doing. While being an authoritarian parent is easy, you’re educating your kid to obey commands no matter what. Teach your youngster to make choices instead, and he’ll grow up to be much more competent — and happy. Like any other human being, children like having choices and being able to make their own decisions. It’s your obligation to provide them the freedom to make choices while staying within the boundaries you’ve established. Allow children to select between two healthy breakfast options instead of enabling them to devour a bowl of sweets if they so choose.
- A little perseverance can go a long way. As a mom, I understand how easy it is to lose your temper and tolerance. Allowing yourself to respond in anger or annoyance, on the other hand, is not the greatest thing for your kid, and you must keep this in mind. When you start to lose patience, you should take a big breath or go for a stroll. Patience with your kid will improve both your relationship and your child in the long term.
- A good sense of humour is necessary. There will be moments when your kid does something that makes you angry – scribbling in crayon all over the walls, spilling something on your sofa, or slipping out and driving to meet up with pals are all examples. While you should educate your youngster not to do these things, it’s also a good idea to giggle at the situation’s comedy. This is something I’ve learned to do more often, and it’s helped me maintain my sanity.
- Frequently read to them. Reading to your children (from the time they’re newborns on) is essential, whether you’re a reader or not. It establishes a reading habit in them and prepares them for a lifetime of study. It allows you and your kid to spend some quality time together, and it will become a tradition that your youngster will treasure. I read with all of my children, ranging in age from two to fifteen, and we all enjoy every word we read together. See my list of the Best Children’s Books of All Time.
- Don’t play the role of the absent father. The most common error that fathers make is failing to be there for their children. Always, always make aside time for your children each day and week. Allow nothing to infringe on this precious moment. And make every effort to be there for important events in your child’s life, such as a soccer game, a music concert, or a science fair. It has enormous significance.
- Allow them to have fun. Playing helps children grow, and although it may seem self-evident, you should offer them as much free play as possible. That is, excluding television and video games (see below), reading, and anything organized or instructional. Allow them to play, make up stories, and have a good time.
- Encourage them to use their creativity. Although free play, as previously said, is the ideal approach to cultivate the imagination, you may sometimes add a little spark. Acting games with your children, building forts, dressing up as ninjas, role playing, pretending to be explorers or characters from a movie or book… the options are unlimited, and you’ll have just as much fun as they do.
- TV and video games should be kept to a minimum. I’m not suggesting you have to be Amish to enjoy this form of entertainment, but too much of it hinders kids from engaging in more creative play, reading, or going outdoors to exercise. I suggest an hour of “media time” every day, but you and your family may figure out what works best for you.
- Learn how to say “no.” While I am all for providing children the opportunity to make their own decisions, free play, and a variety of other liberties, there must be limitations. Parents who do not establish limits will produce children with behavioral issues who will have difficulties as adults. And, just as it isn’t healthy to constantly say “yes,” it isn’t healthy for a youngster to say “no” at first… When they throw a temper tantrum or beg and plead, you give in. Teach children that your “no” is solid, but only say “no” when you really believe you need to establish a boundary.
- Be a role model for others. It’s one thing to tell your kid what she should do; it’s another to say one thing and do another. In fact, what you do will be the most important thing your kid will learn. Your youngster is always observing you in order to learn proper conduct. For example, excessive drinking, smoking, or drug usage by parents will become engrained in the child’s mind. Bad manners, disrespectful conduct, sloppy habits, anger and a bad attitude, laziness and greed… all of these characteristics will be passed down to your kid. Model the behavior you want your kid to learn instead.
- Always treat their mother with respect. Some dads may be aggressive to their wives, which can lead to a vicious cycle of abuse as the kid gets older. But, in addition to physical or verbal abuse, disrespectful conduct toward the child’s mother is a lesser offense. If you treat your kid’s mother with contempt, your youngster will not only pick up on that conduct, but will also develop anxieties and other emotional issues as a result of it. Respect the mother of your kid at all times.
- Allow them to be who they are. Many parents strive to shape their children into the people they want them to be, even if their personalities don’t suit that mold. Instead, teach your kid excellent habits and values while yet allowing him to be himself. Children, like all people, have various personalities and peculiarities. Allow such personalities to blossom. Love your kid for who he is, not for who you think he should be.
- Teach them to be self-sufficient. Teach your children to accomplish things for themselves from an early age, progressively increasing their independence as they become older. While teaching your kid to do something you could do much quicker yourself may seem tough and time-consuming at first, it will pay off in the long run, both in terms of the child’s self-confidence and the amount of work you will have to do. My children, for example, can wash their own dishes, help clean the home, tidy their rooms, fold and put away clothing, shower, groom, and dress themselves, among other things, saving me a lot of time and effort. My two-year-old understands how to pick things up when she is ordered to.
- Join hands with your mother. It’s never good for one parent to say one thing and the other parent to contradict that parent. Instead, you and your mother should collaborate as a parenting team and support each other’s choices. However, it is critical that you discuss these options in advance so that you are not forced to accept a conclusion with which you strongly disagree.
The “How to be a Dad” is an article that provides 18 tips for fatherhood. The article will teach you how to be a great dad. Reference: how to be a dad for dummies.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are tips for new dads?
A: Tips for new dads are difficult to give, because each guy has different needs and desires. However, its not too late to start planning with your partner — you can always make changes later on in the year if need be!
What qualities make a good father?
A: A good father is responsible, caring and supportive. He should be a role model for his children as well as his wife. His time with the family should not only include quality time; he needs to help around the house when needed so that both parents are able to spend equal amounts of time with their kids.
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