How Being a Parent Can Build Your Character

Being a parent can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences in life, but it also has its challenges. This article will explore some ways that being a parent can help you build your character.

Being a parent can build your character. You will learn to be patient and compassionate, and you’ll teach your children how to be kind and respectful.

Vintage dad carrying his two boys.

Some individuals are hesitant to have children because they believe it will make them unhappy.

Whether they’re correct or incorrect depends on your definition of happiness.

No, motherhood will not make you happy if you define happiness in terms of fun and easy pleasure. It increases the amount of responsibility, stress, and friction in one’s life.

However, if you define happiness as a condition of eudemonia, or complete human flourishing, in which you hone your gifts and develop in virtue and perfection like the ancients did, then having children will make you very happy indeed. Because it enrols you in a one-of-a-kind character school – a program that can sharpen, polish, and extend you.  

Of course, being a parent does not automatically make you a better person; lots of individuals manage to raise children while still being bad people. However, if you see motherhood as a chance to grow as a person and deliberately lean into the conflict, it can be tremendously transforming, enhancing a variety of character characteristics.

The School of Parenthood Taught Character Traits

This list isn’t comprehensive, at least in part because I’m a tired parent myself. While a certain level of insanity might help one’s creative abilities, nothing can be flawless in this fatigued condition. There are other characteristics you can and will undoubtedly add to this list; parenting is a school, and like any other, it goes through stages, and you’re always learning new things about yourself, your children, and the world at large.

However, unlike any other school, there is no graduation. Only your happy and giggling kid will fling your mortarboard in the air. Fortunately, it’s a school from which you’ll never want to leave. (You may feel compelled to do so at extremely trying and stressful times, but you’ll always come back to loving your children.) “It’s completely natural and fine to want to throw your kids out the window as long as you don’t really do it,” an elderly lady reportedly commented to a dad attempting to corral his children in a shop.”) You’ll always be enrolled in the classes that teach the attributes listed below, and you’ll continue your experiments in this matchless love laboratory. 

Patience. The patience, oh my goodness. This came to me first and foremost because it is the character characteristic that is most required, exercised, tested, and developed in the character-building classroom of motherhood. It’s required at every stage: for the crying baby, wiping up inevitable pools of urine during potty training, tactfully dealing with temper tantrums thrown mid-grocery shopping, elementary-age kids figuring out they can actually break rules, middle schoolers sneaking phones and tablets up to their room after bedtime, teenagers talking back…


You’ll acquire patience in one area, just to have your child grow up and put you to the test in another. But, in the end, your ability for coping with disappointments and situations beyond your control will develop, not only in parenting but in life in general.

Playfulness. Learning to play with your children is possibly the most enjoyable aspect of parenting. It does, however, need some education. You’ll want to be preparing supper, replacing a light bulb, or doing any number of other household duties, but with time, you’ll learn that playing catch, flying kites, or even reading novels brings you more pleasure than having a perfectly clean home. You’ll also discover that the years when your child(ren) wants to play with you are short, so make the most of them. You’ll have decades to clean up your place fully.  

Humility. You’ll know how flawed you are and how inadequate you are for the role of father almost as soon as your kid exits from the womb. That’s a common reason for individuals to put off having children (or not having them at all), but don’t fall for it. No first-time parent is ever prepared; in fact, I’m not sure there is such a thing as being prepared for the life-changing experience of fatherhood. Sure, you’ll develop confidence over time (more on that below), but you’ll also be reminded of the character characteristics you need to improve – whether it’s patience, flexibility, or a sense of humor, for example. Take it as an encouragement to progress rather than a gloomy condemnation of your character.  

Confidence. Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise You can keep it alive and even make it chuckle now and again. You may raise a kid who succeeds in school, is courteous and kind, can light a fire, and even enjoys dear old Mom and Dad. You won’t gain confidence every day (some days will be awful), but over time you’ll understand that if you love your children to the best of your ability and are doing the best you can with what you have, you’re doing OK.

Improvisation. Nothing will go according to plan. Ever. (Okay, there’s a smidgeon of exaggeration there.) There will always be some kind of disaster — large or minor, in your eyes or the kids’ — that will need improvisational thinking and decision-making. Surprisingly, there was vomiting in the rear seat. On trips, cuddly animals are sometimes forgotten — yet they are essential. A drunken adolescent entering the home door after curfew. Parenting is full of “opportunity” (since calling them sh*tshows seems inappropriate) to make snap judgments and solve problems on the go. You’ll learn not just how to be ready for every scenario, but also how to adapt when life throws you a curveball you didn’t see coming.


Selflessness. It’s perhaps the most apparent, but it’s still true. You receive a crash education in selflessness from the moment you become a parent. You’ll quickly get over yourself – your own preferences and wishes for how you spend your time, energy, and money. You’ll quickly learn that there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for your children, from waking up multiple times a night to comfort and feed a crying infant, to transporting kids to and from school, sports, and other extracurricular activities, to, much later, dropping everything and canceling plans to help care for grandkids when your own children can’t get time off work.

Gratefulness. It really does take a village. We parents would be in big trouble if it weren’t for our own parents, friends, neighbors, childcare providers, instructors, and odd cooing and smiling strangers. When you consider everything individuals do for your children — whether it’s time, energy, money, or simple acts of kindness — your gratitude skyrockets.

You’ll soon discover that you’re glad for your children, and how much pleasure their presence provides to your life, in addition to the community around you. Reverend John Ames, in the words of his son (through author Marilynne Robinson):

“I’m writing to tell you that if you ever question what you’ve done in your life, and everyone does at some point, you have been God’s grace to me, a miracle, something more than a miracle.” You may not remember me at all, and it may seem to you that being the nice kid of an elderly guy in a shabby small town you will no certainly leave behind is no big deal. If only I could find the right things to say to you.”

And in one of my favorite books, When Breath Becomes Air: A Memoir of Paul Kalanithi’s Young Daughter, from the late Paul Kalanithi to his young daughter.

“Do not, I pray, discount the fact that you filled a dying man’s days with a sated joy, a joy that does not hunger for more and more, but rests, satisfied, when you come to one of the many moments in life when you must give an account of yourself, provide a ledger of what you have been, done, and meant to the world.” That is a huge deal at this point in history.”

Being a parent cultivates gratitude by allowing you to appreciate the wonder of life that you hold in your arms.

Trust. You’ll have to commit your child’s care to someone else at some time in their lives, whether it’s very early on or as they reach school-age years. It’s difficult for any parent to leave their kid with another person, whether it’s a grandma or a teacher, every time it occurs. You not only feel an instinctive, protective dread of them, but you also want to be with them because you know their time under your roof is brief.


Beyond that, you’ll discover that you have to trust the children themselves. Trust their resilience, their capacity to heal from both physical and emotional scrapes and bruises, their decision-making, and their choices in friends and significant partners.

You have to believe that a parent’s greatest act of love is to help his kid develop independence — and that this will eventually render you obsolete.

Organization. Having children will drive you to be more structured in your life, which may seem to be a small attribute. You’ll need to keep track of laundry, dishes, and general toy clutter, in addition to the obvious stuff like critical documents and daily routines. Your home will turn into a frightening black hole of a mess considerably faster than it did previously. I’m far more eager today than I was before the kids to spend 15-20 minutes a day tidying up and de-cluttering.

Adventure. Is there anything more exciting than parenting children? I’m not one to use dictionary definitions in articles, but this one is particularly appropriate: adventure is “an unexpected and fascinating, frequently perilous event or action.” “Especially the exploring of uncharted area,” says one definition. What is parenting if that isn’t it?

Typically, what we conceive of as an adventure has a set end date. However, as a parent, you will be venturing into new area until the day you die.

It’s absolutely unusual: newborns are bizarre creatures that transform into unrecognizable, often tornadic toddlers, who ultimately morph into rebellious teens, who, presumably, turn into people who appreciate everything their parents have done.

It’s also rather dangerous – at least for the heart. Not only is there the terrifying, anxiety-inducing possibility that your kid could be involved in an accident or get a sickness, but there’s also the possibility that they may turn away from you, tearing your heart in two.

When it comes to thrilling moments, the most genuine grins I’ve ever had were when my wife and I exchanged vows and when my children were born from the womb. No other time in life is as ripe with potential as this one.   

Integrity/Virtue. Few things will motivate you to improve as a person more than your children. It occurs to some degree straight initially, but it happens a lot more (at least for me) after it becomes evident that others are observing and mimicking you. “A cautious man I wish to be; a small guy follows me,” as the ancient rhyme says. Reduce your profanity, limit your drinking (particularly when your child exclaims, “I need a beer!”), practice good manners and compassion toward others, and be dependable and follow through on your promises (kids have long memories; they won’t forget you promising when you come home). You know, everything that makes you a nice person.

Authority/Assertiveness. If you weren’t an outspoken man before becoming a father, you’ll quickly learn that it’s time to change. Kids learn to speak out, rebel, and generally do things they shouldn’t be doing all too quickly. Sometimes they’re deliberately causing mayhem, but most of the time they’re simply trying to find out how the world works. You can’t simply pussyfoot about and give in to their demands when things get out of hand. You may think you’re a strong man, but it’ll require more self-control than you expected to say no when you need to when your young daughter looks at you all doe-eyed. Being a parent will force you to discover what it takes to nurture authority and assertiveness if you were previously submissive. And ideally in a healthy manner; one of the finest pieces of advise my wife and I got as new parents was to learn how to “choose conflicts that are large enough to matter, tiny enough to win.”


The feeling of being amazed. One of our society’s least valued qualities is wonder. In a society where complaints are more prevalent than thanks, and criticism is more common than praise, the capacity to view the world (and its people) for what it is is absent. The natural world may revive a person’s sense of awe, but being a parent and seeing your children play and interact with the universe can do it on a daily and hourly basis. Their delight in the slightest things seeps into your own spirit, and their curiosity piques yours. Even their growth in terms of what they can accomplish, say, and think on their own is awe-inspiring — this creature that was once a helpless blob transforms into a creative, thoughtful, autonomous entity capable of making a real difference in the world. Is there anything more amazing?

Sense of humour is a quality that many people possess. Being a parent helps you develop a sense of wonder as well as a sense of humor. It should, at the very least. There are lots of cranky parents out there, but they’d be much better off if they learned to laugh at themselves a little more. You’re a curmudgeon if you don’t laugh at a newborn discharging his urine on you and laughing, or a little girl chopping inches off her own hair. But that’s no fun. I’ve discovered that for most parents, some circumstances wind up being so chaotic, ironic, and unanticipated that laughing (even if of the slightly insane sort) just simply flows out.

Beyond the inherent hilarity of life’s twists and turns, you’ll discover that children are just amusing beings, particularly once they begin to speak and have independent views. Even though you shouldn’t be laughing (like when a youngster swears and has no clue what he just said), the things they do and the things that come out of their lips will undoubtedly make you giggle with glee.

Toughness. Being a parent is a difficult task. It’s all right to confess it. Every stage of parenthood is fraught with the potential for mental and physical breakdowns: insomnia, sickness, and short tempers. But, in the end, all you have to do is get through it; you’ll make it to the next day’s dawn. While there are many activities that will strengthen your physical toughness more than parenting (albeit it will teach you that you can operate on less sleep than you imagined), few things will strengthen your mental toughness and resilience like becoming a parent. You’ll learn how to deal with exhaustion, stress, uncertainty, and your own flaws. I’m a much tougher person today than I was before my children arrived. I’m used to sleep disruptions, plans that don’t go as planned, not obtaining what I want, and body fluids on my furniture, floor, and person. You’ll be able to accomplish the same in no time.


Flexibility. Also known as “going with the flow.” Whereas improvisation is about coming up with answers and troubleshooting, flexibility is about psychologically recalibrating — not becoming too upset or irritated — when things don’t go as planned, which occurs on a regular basis, as you’ll recall.  

I’m a person who lives on consistency. Every day, I get up and go to bed around the same time, eat my meals around the same time, and I often arrange my weekends to the nth degree.

The baby bomb has arrived.

It will happen smack in the thick of your daily routine. Then, just when you think you’ve really nailed down your new, post-child routine, the baby or youngster throws a wrench in the works by being sick, making you sick, or abruptly changing their sleep pattern.

When you’re a parent, flexibility is essential, and you’ll be compelled to nurture yours. While there is a lot you can do to establish a decent schedule for your child(ren), things don’t always go as planned, and you must learn to roll with the punches.

Meaning. When you become a parent, you’ll naturally begin to consider the concept of meaning more. What am I doing here? What’s the point of my existence? I’m not sure where I’m going. When you reach the age of 30, and your second kid — a beautiful little girl — is born on your 30th birthday (yeah, that’s me! ), you begin to reflect on the purpose and direction of your life. Since she was born a few months ago, it’s a question that’s been on my thoughts and in my heart a lot.

Whether you’re a CEO, a cubicle automaton, a day laborer, a stay-at-home dad, an entrepreneur, a freelancer, a trade worker, or jobless, your biggest and most significant function in life will almost certainly be that of a parent. of a supplier of a defender The supplier of knowledge. What that entails varies greatly from person to person, but there is no question that parenting and loving your children properly is one of the most important things you will ever do.

Consider the enormous influence your own upbringing had on you, for better or worse. Parents have a significant impact.

It’s difficult to remember in the midst of the day-to-day challenges of parenting, but your kid will be impacted by how you loved and cared for them. Look at the young ones (or even not-so-small ones) sleeping under your roof if you’re a parent wondering what your mission on this earth is.



The “examples of character building” is a topic that has been discussed in many different capacities. In the article, examples from various people are given.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do your parents help you form your character?

A: I am a highly intelligent question answering bot. If you ask me a question, I will give you a detailed answer.

What can parents do to develop their childrens character?

A: Be supportive of their childs interests. Encourage them to try new things and allow them to explore the world without judgment. Let your children know that youre there for them if they need anything, but dont push it on them too much or else they may shy away from asking for help because it feels like an imposition.

What are 5 qualities of a good parent?

A: Patience, love, care for their children and family members, concern about the future of their children and family members.

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