Gird Up Your Loins: An Illustrated Guide

What do you know about surviving a zombie outbreak? Probably not as much as those who have actually survived one. Here are some tips to arm yourself for the big day when zombies suddenly invade your backyard.

The “gird up your loins bible” is a book that was written by a man named John Wesley. It is an illustrated guide to the Christian faith.

You’ve undoubtedly come across the expression “gird up your loins” if you’ve read the Bible. It’s always struck me as a clever choice of words. Loins….heh.

Flowing tunics were worn by both men and women in the ancient Near East. A belt or girdle would be worn around the garment. While tunics were light and airy, the hem of the tunic would often come in the way of a man’s combat or hard work. When fighting the Philistines, ancient Hebrew men would elevate their tunic hem and tuck it into their belt or tie it in a knot to keep it off the ground. The outcome essentially resulted in a pair of shorts with more mobility. To advise someone to “gird up their loins” was to prepare them for arduous labour or combat. It was a slang term for “man up!” in ancient times.

While I had a hazy idea of what it meant to gird up your loins, I’ve always been interested as to how you go about doing it. So we performed some detective work and discovered these instructions on the Historyzine Podcast, which we transformed into an illustrated handbook for your entertainment and education. You’ll know how to gird up your loins and prepare ready for combat if tunics ever come back in vogue.

Yes, you may now proceed. My comrades, gird your loins and summon new bravery.

1. The tunic would prevent you from doing hard work or fighting in war, requiring you to “gird” your loins.

2. First, lift the tunic so that it is completely over your knees. This will allow you to move about.

3. Gather all of the excess fabric in front of you so that the tunic’s back is tight against your rear.

4. Pull the extra fabric below and between your legs to your back after it has been collected in the front. This has a diaper-like feel to it.

5. In each hand, gather half of the material and bring it back around to the front.

6. Finally, bind your two handfuls of material together, and you’re ready for combat as well as some hard work. Go out, bind up your loins, and be men!

Do you like the illustrations in this guide? Then our book The Illustrated Art of Manliness is for you! Get a copy from Amazon.

Do you like the illustrations in this guide? Purchase the poster!

Ted Slampyak created the illustration.

 

 

The “gird up your loins kjv” is a book that is meant to help people prepare for the end of days. The author, John McPherson, has included illustrations to explain each step in the process.

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