For many people, the idea of growing up without a father is something that’s been done for centuries. This video explores the difficulties and challenges associated with being raised by a single mother in America today.
The “psychological effects of growing up without a father” is the title of a blog post that discusses how children are affected by growing up without a father.
Editor’s note: We’re wrapping out our series on fathers today with a piece from a different viewpoint. While having a great father might help you develop into a great man, growing up without one can inspire you to be better than your father. Andrew Galasetti harnessed his less-than-ideal youth to propel himself towards dignified manhood.
Mr. Galasetti is an entrepreneur and the founder of Lyved.com, a lifestyle site that focuses on enjoying life to the fullest. Lyved has a number of popular articles available for viewing here.
I grew up in a single-parent family, as did millions of other individuals. Before I was in kindergarten, my mother divorced my father. My father was a drug addict and alcoholic who often beat up on my mother and made her life a living nightmare. My elder sister and I continued to see our father on weekends after they split. However, as we got older, dad gradually drifted away from us until one day, he packed up his possessions and went to another state without even saying “goodbye.” At the time, I was around ten years old.
We never heard from him after that, not even with a simple birthday card. It’s been over a decade since dad left, and I grew up without a father for the duration of my formative years.
Growing up in a single-parent family, as we all know, implies that the children are more likely to live at or below the poverty line as the parent struggles to make ends meet. This is challenging for everyone, but growing up without a father presents unique challenges for boys.
The statistics on single-parent families lead you to assume that every guy who grows up with one parent is a drug addict, a failure, and a prisoner, but this is simply not the case. Because I grew up without a father, I avoided bad behavior and criminality and instead focused on becoming a successful entrepreneur with a goal to positively impact millions of people’s lives.
Growing up without a father taught me a lot about how to be a man. Here are six things I’ve learned:
#1 Having a kid qualifies you as a father, but not as a “father.”
“What’s the difference?” you may wonder. Perhaps you’re inquiring. A father, on the other hand, is an appropriate name for a guy who bears a kid. A father, on the other hand, is a “dad” or “daddy” in the eyes of a child. It’s a moniker that must be earned by being financially and psychologically supportive to your kid. You don’t become a “dad” without putting in the effort and being there anytime your children need you.
#2: Manhood necessitates self-sufficiency.
Don’t put your well-being and livelihood in the hands of others or a trust fund. Either of them may go from your life at any time. I was lucky enough to know at a young age that no one is going to offer me my aspirations or what I need in life; I must go out and seize it for myself.
We no longer need to cultivate or hunt to subsist on our own since we live in the contemporary era. Self-sufficiency is no longer just about surviving; it’s about flourishing as a man. We may attain self-sufficiency these days by doing things like:
- Getting a well-rounded education
Be receptive to other cultures, themes, points of view, and individuals. The more activities you’ve done and the more topics you’ve studied, the more circumstances you’ll be able to manage. Look for talents that will make you a valued contribution to your businesses and community.
- Not allowing fear to hold you back
For most individuals, fear is the most significant impediment. It prevents us from achieving success, obtaining what we need, and keeping us reliant on others.
#3: Becoming a man does not happen as you get older.
Though the law considers any male beyond the age of 18 to be a “man,” a youngster grows into a genuine man by his experiences and the lessons he learns from them. It might take years over the age of 18 for this to happen.
A kid grows into a man as a result of his experiences:
- Taking responsibility for failure
- Accepting lessons and letting go of stubbornness
- Knowing how to deal with difficult events and correcting their negative behaviors and attitudes
- Getting to know oneself better
#4: Instead of following in someone else’s footsteps, forge your own path.
I’m perplexed as to why so many young guys choose to follow in their dads’ footsteps. You may think it’s simple for me to say this since all I ever wanted to be was a drunk, drug addict, or abusive deadbeat. My father, on the other hand, worked; he performed construction and other things. It’s a frequent professional choice for boys who want to follow in their dads’ footsteps.
Any job is worthwhile labor, and if what your father does or did is also your passion, that’s fantastic. But I was looking for something new, something thrilling, and something that had never been done before. Here’s an excellent phrase to make you reconsider following in someone else’s footsteps:
We’re not here to repeat what’s already been accomplished. Robert Henri Robert Henri Robert Henri Robert Henri Robert
Men choose the less-traveled and never-traveled way.
#5: Mental fortitude is frequently more important than physical fortitude.
My father is psychologically weak, no matter how powerful he is physically. He lacked the conviction to be a father. It’s not going to happen simply by going to the gym and lifting weights if you want to be a guy of tremendous bravery and success. A brave guy stands up for the vulnerable, for what he believes in, and in the face of fear, failure, and criticism. He isn’t frightened of taking on responsibilities and seeing projects through to completion.
#6: Your father does not have to be your biological father.
Look for a father figure in someone else if your father is jailed, has abandoned you, or hasn’t had much success in life. Even in maturity, every guy needs a father figure. You don’t even have to know him personally, and he doesn’t have to be alive for it to work. Whether in the form of a book or a video, most successful men leave a legacy and lessons behind. Then, just like any other father figure, you may study, observe, and put their advise into practice. Chris Gardner, Andrew Carnegie, Richard Branson, and Randy Pausch are the four most impactful father-like personalities in my life.
Seek the company and camaraderie of male friends in addition to studying the lives of great men. When Wayne has said, as you open up to these guys, they may become “father figures” to you.
What makes a guy who he is and who he isn’t
As a result, growing up without a father is something I’m now proud of. It has let me see the difference between a boy and a man much more clearly.
Here’s a brief rundown of what I learnt about what a guy isn’t and what a man is as a result of growing up without a father:
It isn’t true that a guy is:
- Someone who avoids taking care of his tasks.
- a person who is always making excuses
- a guy who attacks a lady
- A man develops as he gets older — a kid develops into a man as he gains experience.
A man is:
- Someone who, despite their fears, stands up for what they believe in.
- Someone who forges a new route.
- When he obtains the title of “father,” he becomes one.
“Growing up without a father story” is a blog that discusses the difficulties of growing up without a father. The author writes about how difficult it is to grow up without a father, and how he tries to keep his daughter from feeling the same way. Reference: growing up without a father story.
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