The world is changing at a rapid pace, and these are the tools that will change your life. From smart homes to quantum computing, these technologies provide you with the comfort of knowing we won’t have to adapt our lifestyles soon enough.
Note from the editor: This is a guest post by Wayne M Levine, M.A.
These eight BetterMen Tools can help you alter your relationships and your life if you’re tired of falling short as a man, parent, husband, or leader.
It’s possible that the repairs will take time. Accept these techniques and seek the help you need to implement them in your relationships. You’ll be astonished at the guy you’ve become with dedication, hard work, and the willingness to change.
In a nutshell, these are the eight BetterMen Tools. May you see how these descriptions can help you become a better man?
Silence The Little Boy is the first tool.
We all have a young guy inside of us. He’s the one who didn’t receive the love, attention, direction, mothering, fathering, or discipline as a child that he should have had – or believes he should have gotten. He’s also a genuine, hurting young boy who was molested and never got the treatment he needed to recover and develop into a healthy man. As a consequence, our society’s guys grow up without a clear idea of what it is to be a man, and they continue to behave like desperate young boys. Stop stomping your feet in your relationships and in life. You must suppress the small boy in order to have a successful long-term relationship and to feel like a successful guy.
Tool #2: Don’t Defend Your Feelings, Just Express Them
You don’t need to talk about your sentiments; all you need to do is express them. You’ll be giving your wife what she needs, improving your connection, and feeling like the greatest guy you can be if you learn to communicate your sentiments without justifying them. And you’ll become a guy people can rely on and respect if you express yourself without defending yourself with everyone else in your life. Stuffing your emotions leads to a slew of negative emotional and physical consequences, including rage, stress, resentment, despair, and a slew of other negative emotional and physical consequences.
Cooperate without compromising (tool #3) N.U.T.s are your N.U.T.s.
When men consent to anything that undermines who they are and what they believe in, they get enraged and resentful. Men who have created their N.U.T.s (non-negotiable, unalterable terms) have no trouble collaborating as long as they are not asked to sacrifice what is most essential to them, their N.U.T.s. Men who have not developed their N.U.T.s are more likely to refuse to collaborate because they are always afraid of being compromised and feel compelled to protect themselves. When a guy uses this Tool, however, he may show up in his relationships at home, at work, and in his community as the man he wants to be.
Tool #4: Direct the Departments of Sex and Romance
Because you romanced her and made her feel special, you had a lot of sex early on in your relationship. You desire a vigorous sex life now, but you’re too indolent for romance? That won’t work, as most married guys know. You’re in charge of the sex and romance departments. And if you do a good job, you’ll obtain what you desire for both of you. Fear of rejection is arguably the most common reason why males avoid this responsibility. You’ll be shocked how much power you have to re-ignite the passion in your lady and in your relationship after you master the Tools and have a clear vision of the connection you want to have.
Be The Rock (Tool #5)
One of the most crucial things you can give your wife is the assurance that no matter how she feels, how angry, terrified, sad, uncomfortable, or irritated she is, no matter how she behaves or what words she says, you will still be there when she’s done. She wants to be allowed to be herself and know that she isn’t accountable for how her actions may effect you at difficult times. You will be much more the guy she needs if she has that freedom and you don’t run away, become defensive, attempt to repair her or her issue, or make it about you and dispute. You’ll be a force to be reckoned with!
Don’t Argue is the sixth tool.
Allow yourself to let go of your urge to be correct. Don’t try to reason with her. Have you noticed that when it comes to disputing with your lady, you lose when you lose, and you win when you win? There is nothing to be achieved through bickering that will help you or your partner in any manner. You, on the other hand, continue to do it. It may even seem like it’s out of your control at times. It’s not the case. You’ll notice a significant difference in ALL of your relationships after you quit fighting. When a guy controls his N.U.T.s, there’s no need to quarrel with anybody about anything.
Listening is the seventh tool.
Your lady needs someone who will listen to her, care about her, provide her a shoulder to cry on, be there to listen to her gripe and laugh with, and support her. You’re the one! Developing this skill—and understanding why it’s difficult for you—will completely change your relationships! And you’ll discover that listening is an advantage in ALL of your relationships after you enhance your capacity to listen to her.
Develop Trusting Relationships With Men (Tool #8)
Women are amazing. However, they cannot—and are not designed to—satisfy all of our needs. That is why we need the presence of guys in our lives. And not only to drink with, watch sports with, or gossip with. You need trusting relationships with men who will go the extra mile for you, challenge you when you’re in pain but deny it, hold you accountable to your commitments to be a better husband and father, men who will risk their relationships with you in order to be honest, and men who will do the same for you. These connections, this support, will enable you to achieve incredible changes in your life and relationships.
Have I gotten your attention? Good. The capacity of a guy to be strong and confident in his relationships and in his life is part of the art of manliness. Now is the time to grab your copy of Hold on to Your N.U.Ts and begin acquiring the skills and support you’ll need to become the guy you’ve always wanted to be!
Wayne M. Levine, M.A. helps men become better spouses and dads by mentoring them.