Civility is a key component to all relationships, whether they are professional or personal. Online interactions have been marred by insults and vitriol on the internet, but recent trends suggest these behaviors may be changing with platforms like Discord revolutionizing social media channels. How civility can change online communication in other ways remains to be seen.,
“The old man and the sea” is a short story written by Ernest Hemingway. This story is about an old man who was fishing in the ocean when he caught a big fish. The fish ate him, and then the old man died. Read more in detail here: what was the old man and the sea about.
“You only need one shell: one for yourself.” Done.”
“A tube of Carmex shouts survival like nothing else. Protect the planet from more individuals like you by adding a bit to the condom you saved…”
On Tuesday’s article on building the Ultimate Survival Shotgun, the above comments were left. That piece was a smash success, immediately becoming one of our most popular ever (thanks, Creek!). However, not everyone understood it—it wasn’t meant to be a lighthearted parody or a serious survival guide. It was going to be a very interesting look at a challenge a guy set for himself—how to assemble a survival kit on a shotgun without any separate packs—and how he very skillfully did it.
Okay, so it wasn’t seen by everyone, and even if they did, they didn’t like it. That’s all right. We don’t expect every piece to be a hit! But how can a guy get from disliking a blog post to believing the author is unfit for reproduction or life?! I’ve read a lot of blog entries that I didn’t like, but I’ve never gone from disliking a piece to believing the author should commit suicide. What is the source of this enraged, cringe-inducing inhumanity?
The lack of empathy that comes with engaging as nameless, disembodied persons is undoubtedly a big component. However, the true issue is how we regard our online time; many people see it as a getaway from their “real lives”—a place where they can let it all hang out. They must be respectful in their personal life, refraining from telling their employer how they really feel about him, shrieking at the customer service representative who is giving them the runaround, and jumping out of the vehicle and hitting the rude and irresponsible motorist in front of them. The resentment they feel as a result of this constraint boils within of them, and they vent their rage online, free of any real-world repercussions.
However, the world is spending an increasing amount of time online. It has become our primary source of education, entertainment, communication, and discussion for many of us. Isn’t it time we broke down the barriers between our online and “real” lives and acted with the same decency online as we do in our day-to-day interactions?
Why Should a Man Attempt to Be More Civil Online?
Regardless of the kind of venue in which he participates, a gentleman respects people with decency and respect. He respects his fellow tourists with the same respect with which he would want to be treated. And in doing so, he makes the world a better place at every area he visits. Instead of being unhappy and furious, he leaves individuals with whom he engages feeling edified and elevated. Every guy has the ability to make a difference in his own little part of the world, whether it’s at work, at home, or online. The more men who choose the higher route of civility, the more joyful their lives become for everyone. And rejecting our lower inclinations in favor of higher ones is an important element of becoming our best selves and leaving a legacy.
Every day annoyances build up a reservoir of rage within of us. Instead of venting anger on others, it could be channeled towards healthy outlets such as exercise, meditation, and time spent in nature.
What Can You Do to Be More Civil Online?
The use of common sense is all it takes to be a gentleman online. However, everyone who leaves their house on a daily basis is aware of how unusual common sense may be.
Etiquette books were immensely popular in our grandfathers’ and great-grandfathers’ day; in fact, Emily Post’s book on the topic was one of the most requested books by GIs during World War II. Our predecessors recognized something we frequently forget: no matter how obvious something is, people are lured to the path of least resistance without periodic reminders and practice. While our society has mostly abandoned these reminders to be our best selves, we’ll fill in the gaps today by going over some common sense guidelines for online gentlemanship.
1. Keep in mind that the folks on the other side of the computer are real people.
It’s so simple to overlook this. We only see our computer screen and our empty flat; the faces of those who will read what we write seem surreal and hazy. They are, nonetheless, present. And your words have the power to injure people. So keep this guideline in mind while you’re writing:
2. Never say anything online that you wouldn’t say to someone face to face.
The most crucial guideline to remember while interacting online. People say things over the internet that they would never say to someone face to face. I know a website owner who sometimes obtains the phone numbers of folks who write particularly harsh comments and phones them to inquire as to what prompted them to say such things. Hearing the voice of a genuine human being always reduces the confronted individual to a stammering, remorseful mess.
3. Use your own name instead of a pseudonym.
This is simple: why are you creating anything if you’re not proud enough of it to have it connected with your own name?
There are certain exceptions to this rule, such as genuine reasons for anonymity. However, before you type in an alias, consider why you’re doing it. Do you have a good explanation, or are you just trying to avoid taking responsibility for your comments because they’re rude?
4. Take a seat on it.
This is something I’ve had to learn the hard way and am currently working on. You witness something that makes your blood boil, and you’re struck with the urge to annihilate someone. You frantically write up a caustic answer and email it. And then you come to regret it.
Instead, write down your criticism and dwell on it for many hours or perhaps a day to get it off your chest. I understand that you feel compelled to get everything off your chest right now, but your adrenaline and pulse rate are high, and you’re not thinking straight. Give it some time, and you’ll be surprised at how quickly “I have to reply!” becomes “Eh, who cares?”
xkcd.com is the source for this comic.
5. Or, better yet, don’t answer at all.
Your mother was correct: It’s sometimes preferable not to say anything at all if you don’t have anything positive to say. This is another thing I’ve learnt via experience yet continue to make mistakes with. I used to want to respond to every ounce of criticism leveled at me, but I’ve learned to choose my fights and that it’s frequently best to stay out of it altogether. Allow folks to do their own thing. I understand how tough it is to let go of our feelings when we believe someone is wrong. We aim to show individuals their mistakes and persuade them to rethink their beliefs.
However, no matter how certain you are that you are correct, you will never win an internet debate. Why? Because of a phenomenon known as the “backfire effect.” David McRaney discusses why, rather than altering people’s views, challenging their ideas reinforces and entrenches them deeper in this piece on the impact, which I strongly suggest reading. This is why I try to stay away from intense online disputes; they get you fired up, waste your time, and go nowhere.
Instead of replying directly to individual people, join in and civilly explain your case if you come across a debate where you really believe a fresh viewpoint is needed. When others see your point of view indirectly rather than directly, they are considerably more inclined to consider it.
6. Make a positive statement.
Studies have revealed that individuals are more prone to post critical remarks in internet forums than good ones, proving what many people already know. It makes sense; when something irritates you, you’re far more likely to complain and vent about it. This is why, according to McRaney:
“A thousand favorable comments may go unnoticed, but one “you stink” can stay with you for days. One theory for why this occurs, as well as the backfire effect, is that you spend much more time examining information that you disagree with than information that you accept. Information that confirms your views travels past your mind like a mist, but when you come across anything that challenges your beliefs, something that contradicts your previous assumptions about how the world works, you seize up and pay attention. Some psychologists believe there is an evolutionary reason for the phenomenon. Because terrible things necessitated a reaction, your forefathers paid more attention to and spent more time thinking about negative stimuli than good ones. Those that could not respond to negative stimuli were unable to breathe.”
I want to keep breathing, but I also don’t want to react just to things that make me upset. As a result, I’ve been working on this as well. When I read a blog piece that I like, it’s simple for me to say to myself, “That was amazing,” and then surf away. So, before going on, I’ve been attempting to take a minute to put those ideas down. As a blogger myself, I understand how uplifting it is to hear anything wonderful.
How else can we promote civility on the internet?